A Very Bubbly Tale
by Reve a deux
Summary: And so here we are with a story about 2 very special clown fishes, who are very much alike...    Warning: Utter crack will ensue.               An OHSHC oneshot. Rated M for language  No thanks to Mojo Jojo.


**Author on a high**: I amz backs! Zis time wisz a non-pronz fanfic! Whoo!  
Anyway, with all those prons I've got swimming in my tadpole pond I figured it'd be a nice change to add in a few innocent (or not) clown fishes to the mix!

Disclaimer: Do contain your urge to flush those red squiggly fishies down your toilet bowl. Unlike a certain gifted cousin of theirs going by the famous N-letter name (I'm sure you've heard of him) they will NOT end up in the Great Barrier Reef...or so they say.

Erm, never mind that. Let's get on with it!

{ A Very Bubbly Tale }

And so here we are with a story about 2 very special clown fishes, who are very much alike: red-orange and white squiggly stripes and all that fins and eyes 'mnotaclownfish! You'll always find them together, mirror images of each other. (Well except for that time when they went and dyed themselves one pink, the other blue *Cue grossed out face* But that's a story for another day)

As I was saying, these two clownies went swimming to a particularly PINK coral one day, to visit a photogenically PINK pufferfish who was at that very moment devouring his PINK crake (which if you didn't know is a delicious confection made up of coral and seaweed and Mister Krabby's special sea-whipped cream) on his perfectly PINK table.

" Mwahh! H-*beep*-chan! K-*beep*-chan! Cwake tabewwu? ", he jabbers with his mouth full.  
" Senpai! We have something to tell you..."

The two clownies turn to each other, huddling their heads together as they whisper," Should we...but if...won't he...Don't you... sure?...oh...mm..ok. "

The positively PINK pufferfish looks on with avid curiosity as his tiny fins continue shoving crake into his mouth. The two clownies suddenly jump apart and scoot over to the pufferfish.  
"Senpai...do you want to know where to find... "  
says the clownie on the right, whispering into the pufferfish's ear.  
"...the awesomest, bestest crake in the world? " finishes his partner on the left.

The pufferfish stares at the clownies, his mouth open in an 'O'. He bobs his head furiously and drops his voice to a whisper, " I won't t...tell. I pwamise! "  
Grinning widely, the two clownies lean closer to the pufferfish and chime in unison, " The awesomest, bestest crake is kept hidden...with your cousin! "  
" T*beep*shi? Really? "  
" Mhm, he keeps it hidden..."  
" In his pants! "

The pufferfish's eyes widen in realization, " Of course! No wonder he always runs away whenever I touch his pants. He..he wants the cake for himself! "

" Well, it's rightfully yours and now you can get it back! "  
" Yes! I want my crake! "  
" Just make sure you tie him down before you eat it up okay? "

" Mmm! Thank you H-*beep*-chan! K-*beep*-chan! I can't wait! It must be the awesomest, bestest, most delicious..." trilled the positively PINK pufferfish as he swims away in a hurry, leaving a trail of bubbles behind him.

" Delicious indeed. " Chuckling to themselves, the two clownies swim out of the what-are-you-thinking-obviously-it's-still-pink coral.

Their next destination, is a golden coral (that's right it's golden) gleaming in the rays of the erm, also golden sunlight with pearls ahh, raining down around it. A PRINCELY regal tang (yes, as you've probably guessed he is the distant nephew of that blue bimbotic fish in that 2 hour long movie about fishies. And so this author shall just call him a doryfish) is crouching outside his well, royal coral, as said doryfish likes to call it, his slender fin drawing little fishy shapes in the sand.  
As the two clownies swim nearer, the MAJESTIC doryfish turns to them with teary eyes and his trademark puppy-dog look.

" Ou-sama! Whatever can be the matter! "  
" Did you lock yourself out of your house? "  
" Again? " says one of the clownie, his mouth agape in surprise.  
" Shh! " His partner el-fins him, " Can't you see he's depressed? Don't remind him! "  
" Ohh right, sorry! My bad. "  
" It's okaa-san! " caterwauls the SUPREMELY sad doryfish, " He refuses to see me..."  
" Oh poor daddy..."  
" All..all I did was give my daughter a good night kiss. That's all! And now okaa-san hates me! "

" Ou-sama, I think you need to tell okaa-san exactly how you feel. " says one of the clownies, his fishy face softening with kindness.  
" You love him...don't you? " his partner asks softly.  
" I...of course I do! " huffs the APOCALYPTICALLY AWESOME doryfish indignantly.  
" Then, you need to show him! "  
" But, how? "  
" Ou-sama...all you need to do is..."

Ahh, those clownies, with that blindingly bright lightbulb above them little fishie heads, it's plain as day to you and me they're up to something again. Unfortunately, our INCREDIBLY BIMBOTIC YET BEAUTIFUL doryfish remains blissfully unaware of this as he listens attentively to the clownies whispering into his ears.

" That's all? That's all I have to do? "  
" Of course! "  
" Okaa-san will forgive you "  
" ...immediately! "

The REGAL doryfish straightens, his confident self back once again. Pirouetting on the spot, he swims off in the direction of {that spongebob place} towards a medium-sized coral the color of midnight blue. So dark a shade of blue, it is practically black.

" Shall we? " says the clownie whose name starts with H, as he offers his fin to his partner-in-crime.

Fin-in-fin, the two clownies trail after their sparkling king, identical grins don both their faces. Just as the NARCISSISTIC doryfish stops at the door, the two clownies duck behind a well-placed seaweed. They watch as their king knocks gingerly on the door.

" O..okaa-san...let me in, pleaseeeee? "  
" Go away T*beep*ki. I'm busy. "

" Pretty pleaseeeee? You just have to open the door. "

Silence.

" I...I won't go anywhere until you open this door! "

Silence.  
The king sighs, his shoulder slumping in defeat.

Just then, the door swings open and an angry-looking swordfish glares at him.  
" What do you want you annoyi..."

T*beep*ki the doryfish launches himself at the swordfish, and they land in heaps of fishyness on the sandy seabed. He whispers into the swordfish's ear, " K*beep*ya, I wanta stick ma horny dick in yer facking sweet arsehole and fark ya dry till yer skream ma name in ma eaar un wre'll both cum raite ere un wre'll flie ter harrre-ven. Ooh wre'll fack un fack lyke me facking yer hot pe-fucking-nis weef ma mouf lyke yer a sweet loolipup. "  
" Fack un fack un fack un..." the doryfish continues, as he humps the swordfish underneath him.

The two voyeurs behind the seaweed collapse on the floor in mirth, clutching their fish bellies as they remember the stunned look on the swordfish's face.

" Oh my god, that was PRICELESS. "  
" Yea..hah... I know.." replies the other clownie in between giggles, " But..did you...see K*beep*ya's BEEEEEP poking at otou-san...hah..hah...Otou-san didn't even notice. "

The clownies collapse again in another round of giggles, both not noticing the seahorse behind them.  
" You two! " she hisses, " Are you trying to get senpai into trouble? "  
" But...hahh..Okaa-san didn't seem to mind..ahaha..."  
" See, they're both inside now. "  
The seahorse looks up.  
" Well, even so. "  
A muffled yelp followed by a " Sweet mother Mary...ahhhh! " comes from the midnight blue coral as it suddenly starts swaying.

The clownies smirk winningly at the blushing seahorse.  
" Oh. ...co...coffee! Need to get coffee. " the seahorse mumbles incoherently as she spins and swims off, her tail twitching madly as she went.  
The clownies slap their fins in a high-five, their grins a mile wide.

All in a good day's work.

PS: And they lived bubbly ever arrfter.

* * *

Yesss. There you go. My first fluffity fic. And erm...it's...it's not my fault! The fluffy crack suddenly morphed into dirt talk! It must have been when Mojo Jojo came by with that awesome tin of cookies. I just knew he was up to something. Dammit.

Please review! Lots and lots of bubbly thanks :D


End file.
